Party Plan Procrastinators

 We college students tend to procrastinate a lot. I mean a lot, I think I have a 50 page paper due in 20 hours or something, I’m not sure. The point is, we put things off to the last minute. When was the last time you called home? When was the last time you remembered what you ate the day before? We’re all so busy, that most of haven’t even had time to plan a costume to all of the Halloween parties we’ll be attending in the next few days. Here are some suggestions to get you through the difficult task at hand.

For Boys

Hotdog- This is a simple one, all you need is an orange tee-shirt and some ketchup and mustard. You can put Ketchup and Mustard all over the shirt in lines, or you can just hold the bottles of them. If you have extra time, try painting the shirt with red and yellow, but since you’re probably scrambling for clothes on your floor as you read this right before you go out, good luck with your painting, Rembrandt.

Rock star – These days it is all about being a cool, original sun-glassed rebel without a cause. Even Lil Wayne is attempting his hand at being a rock star. So let’s follow Weezy’s example and be one of the cool kids. You need an outfit with a lot of attitude: we’re talking ripped tee-shirt, ripped jeans, sunglasses (especially at night), and last but not least, put that Rockband or Guitar Hero video game guitar and use it as a real axe. Spend your whole time shredding on your plastic guitar simulation and you’ll be a rock legend in no time, just like Lil Wayne.

Spartaaaaaaa!!! – This costume is primarily nudity and a manly demeanor. All you need wear are sandals and a man thong. Don’t have a man thong? Why not? Okay, fine, use briefs then, and you’ll be great. If you absolutely have to you can use Boxer briefs. Also, if you are a bigger guy (like me) you probably don’t want to use this costume since all you are wearing is a man thong, and that might be awkward at a party. You’ll also want to get a sword and hold it very threateningly in people’s faces while quoting lines from the movie 300.

For Girls

Olivia Newton-John from the “Let’s Get Physical” Music video- There might be a possibility you have never seen the music video, I suggest you use YouTube to remedy that. Now you can see what you need to do. You should have a leotard and a ripped tee-shirt you tie at the bottom. The more neon colors and 80’s style things you can do the better. The bunched up socks and white sneakers are a must, but not the biggest need for this costume. You are going to need a white head-band. It will make the outfit. Now get ready to wander the streets of town and sing lines from the song. If you don’t know the song just sing “let’s get physical! Physical!” and “Lemme hear your body talk” and you will be set.

Menstrual Monster - Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, but there is nothing more scary to a man than his fear of a girl’s monthly visitor. Ladies, this is the one thing that will truly scare a man away from you. Use this to your advantage in your halloween costumes while you hurry. What you need to do is take whatever you are wearing and tape tampons and pads to yourself. Tape the boxes and wrappers too, you’ll need all the feminine hygiene products to scare men away. For added effect you should also not put on makeup and wear sweat pants, as this will deter men also.

For Anyone

Early for a Toga Party- The key to this outfit is attitude, but the dress is important too. Just simply grab your bedsheet and make a toga out of them. This is a somewhat difficult task to do while you are driving to your destination on your cellphone asking for directions, so try to do it right before you get into the car. You are going to need a few safety pins as well to make sure it sticks on you, especially if you are small, but it’s well worth it. You need a real good attitude to pull it off, act very laid back like you are so early for a fictional toga party. You can do it.

Picnic – You need a checkered table cloth, if you don’t have a checkered table cloth, a blanket will do? Still don’t have one of those? Looks like you are just going to have to use a bedsheet. When you get that figured out tie it around yourself like a big cape, and get ready for your props. You could make food for it and carry your own basket, but if you don’t have that kind of time, I suggest you grab some condiments (ketchup and mustard of course), as well as some salt and pepper. Also grab some plastic eating utensils and a cup. Now the only thing missing is sunshine and a grassy hill, and you’d be a real picnic!