2008 Woodie Awards
STINF:
The reason I sit and cry at my desk
Mike Graziano
Issue date: 11/15/07 Section: opinion
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Tell me, are you one of those people who sits waiting for STINF's (Student Information) timer to go off so that you can start adding classes to your schedule for next year? Do you curse and yell when you realize that the class that had eight seats left instantly has zero because you pushed the button to add five seconds late? Or were you like everyone else (including myself), who printed out one of those self help sheets of paper that says: "Bang Head Here." Tell me how many of you sat and waiting for nearly three hours doing work and checking on STINF to see if you could actually access the site. Heck I had to go to a class and before I came back I noticed that one of the secretaries I know was explaining to me just how much STINF was really "making her upset." Of course those weren't the actual words she was thinking she told me but we all understand how that is. Yet it all honesty, why is a program that is so vital to the University's welfare and the student/faculty population not working like it should be?
I mean seriously, we have to do this only what? Two times a year (for selecting classes at least), that doesn't sound like a big deal. I know the volume of students and faculty that uses this program in that short time span must be huge however. Yet there has to be some way to test the abilities of the webpage prior to releasing it to the public so I actually am forced to go find that piece of paper that says: "Bang Head Here" (it now resides on our apartment wall for all to share and use.) I attempt on a seamless daily basis to identify what is the bane of my existence. Is it my arch enemy? Schoolwork? That f-in no turn right sign coming down from upper campus for the Honeysuckle shortcut… Or maybe, it is something else a tad closer to where I am typing this message, my computer perhaps? Yes ladies and gentleman, as well all know, STINF is the bane of my existence now.
People should start calling STINF something a tad different then what it really is meant to be called. Like "Student 'Tormentation' Is Never Ending", "Sizable Tumor In (your) Noggin (for) Eternity", "Slimy Terrifying Immigrant Necrophilia Fellow", "Sorry To Inform (you) Nothing Functions" and "Silly Town Inbred Naysaying Fornicators." Ah yes, by far this program has cost me many a sleepless night because of the classes I was handed by its calm, cool, annoying little text. And then you have the picky frigin controls that if you mess up you have to reload the entire application every, single, time. That's always joyful.
I seriously wish there was some sort of alternative. But instead there can't be. We must deal with the cards we have been dealt. In this case we were dealt a hand of jokers and a pair of two's… You can't do anything with a pair of two's. Which exactly the point I am attempting to get across. You can't do anything with a system that doesn't even work when it is needed, all two times a year. I feel one day that I just may be forced to go to the Ben Franklin building and burn it down. I'm fairly sure that's where this monstrosity called STINF resides. I shall find a way to somehow survive in this place I call home and maybe my head won't blow up from STINF. If I could use "STINF" to describe just how I feel, it would go something like this: "Severely Traumatized Infant Nearing Fatality." Now if you will all kindly excuse me, I'm going to smack my head on my newly installed "Bang Head Here" sign until I am unconscious, perhaps then the pain will go away.
I mean seriously, we have to do this only what? Two times a year (for selecting classes at least), that doesn't sound like a big deal. I know the volume of students and faculty that uses this program in that short time span must be huge however. Yet there has to be some way to test the abilities of the webpage prior to releasing it to the public so I actually am forced to go find that piece of paper that says: "Bang Head Here" (it now resides on our apartment wall for all to share and use.) I attempt on a seamless daily basis to identify what is the bane of my existence. Is it my arch enemy? Schoolwork? That f-in no turn right sign coming down from upper campus for the Honeysuckle shortcut… Or maybe, it is something else a tad closer to where I am typing this message, my computer perhaps? Yes ladies and gentleman, as well all know, STINF is the bane of my existence now.
People should start calling STINF something a tad different then what it really is meant to be called. Like "Student 'Tormentation' Is Never Ending", "Sizable Tumor In (your) Noggin (for) Eternity", "Slimy Terrifying Immigrant Necrophilia Fellow", "Sorry To Inform (you) Nothing Functions" and "Silly Town Inbred Naysaying Fornicators." Ah yes, by far this program has cost me many a sleepless night because of the classes I was handed by its calm, cool, annoying little text. And then you have the picky frigin controls that if you mess up you have to reload the entire application every, single, time. That's always joyful.
I seriously wish there was some sort of alternative. But instead there can't be. We must deal with the cards we have been dealt. In this case we were dealt a hand of jokers and a pair of two's… You can't do anything with a pair of two's. Which exactly the point I am attempting to get across. You can't do anything with a system that doesn't even work when it is needed, all two times a year. I feel one day that I just may be forced to go to the Ben Franklin building and burn it down. I'm fairly sure that's where this monstrosity called STINF resides. I shall find a way to somehow survive in this place I call home and maybe my head won't blow up from STINF. If I could use "STINF" to describe just how I feel, it would go something like this: "Severely Traumatized Infant Nearing Fatality." Now if you will all kindly excuse me, I'm going to smack my head on my newly installed "Bang Head Here" sign until I am unconscious, perhaps then the pain will go away.
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