Dear Mistress Lovebuckets,
I’ve recently been texting a guy that I might be romantically interested in. During the day, we usually only send a few messages back and forth because we’re both in classes, but in the evenings and at night, we send a lot more messages. I’m not sure yet if I’m into him, and I don’t know if he’s into me romantically or if he just likes talking to me. How should I know what he wants?
-T9 Hottie
Dear T9,
The first good sign is that you guys frequently message one another. Although it is definitely possible that he is into you platonically, guys often don’t text that often in simple conversation unless there’s another motive. Stereotypically, guys are not huge on being social, while there are many men who contradict that stereotype. That being said, it is time to look at the nature of the text messaging and who initiates. If he is asking you about your day, about your classes, or how you feel about things, then he is interested in something about you. If you are asking all the questions, then he may just be answering to appease you or to avoid coming off sounding like a jerk.
Also, if you receive a lot of messages with “emoticons,” which (for those who don’t know) are when punctuation is used to make a face depicting an emotion, then that definitely counts as flirting, especially if they are winking faces and/or kissy faces. You also need to look at what you’re sending him, and be sure that you’re not coming on too strong, or giving him the impression that you’re not interested in getting to know him better.
Dear Mistress Lovebuckets,
How do you confront a roommate if they’re talking behind your back? My roommate tends to be two-faced, being nice (or at least not mean) to my face, but when I’m not there, I find out that she is saying some pretty rude thigns about me, insulting my personality or my habits. How do I deal with this without making the situation worse?
-Stabbed in the Back
Dear Stabbed,
This situation is not only tricky, but is also the worst nightmare of many people coming to college. First, your reaction depends on how you found out that she is talking about you behind your back. If you heard it from a mutual friend, you also need to consider the source. Would this person try to harm your relationship with your roommate on purpose? If you know that you can trust your source or you’ve heard it from multiple people, the best thing you can do is confront her.
By confront her, I am not recommending that you throw down and start shouting, but instead, calmly and respectfully ask her what’s going on. For example, “Hey (roommate), I heard from (mutual friend) that you said this about me. Is that true? I just wanted to make sure she’s not spreading rumors.” Then, ask her why she feels the need to talk about you behind your back rather than just bringing the problem to your face so that you can solve it immediately. If she doesn’t respond to a respectful approach, you may feel inclined to want to throw down, but I still can’t recommend that. I can, however, recommend that you let it roll off of you because she obviously can’t respect your feelings.
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